Sometime back, I attended a lecture on “How to cope up with difficulties and trials- in a guided way”… And it actually changed the way we look at life with such fragile concepts.
The lecturer started by saying there are two kinds of difficulties people face:
- Man-made: that which people create for themselves and even for others around them.
- Those trials inflicted by Allah SWT.
–> To overcome both difficulties one should believe in Allah’s SWT will. That’s the first “hard fact”, as people tend to pity themselves and cry their heart out on the trials when they face it. The blame game begins. The thoughts that, “If only this would not have happened.. If only I hadn’t done this or that” crosses your mind. Makes you more vulnerable to be mentally as well as physically ill. But as soon as you realize it’s from Allah SWT and you believe He is there to make you cross every hurdle that come over you and you believe that He is testing you to upgrade your rank in Jannah-you get relaxed miraculously!
–> The second very common thought that arises in one’s mind is “Why me??” Here we need to learn from the Seerah of our Prophets. Ayub (A.S), afflicted with the worst kind of disease that necrosed his full body and the only thing remaining in proper condition was his heart and his tongue with which he recited,
“And Ayub, when he cried to his Lord, (saying): Harm has afflicted me, and Thou art the most Merciful of the merciful”
-Surah Al-Anbiya, Ayaah 83-84.
And the time when Yunus A.S got trapped inside the tummy of the whale. Went into the darkest of the dark- because a whale sets itself into the deepest bottom of an ocean and the darkness gets darker considering the stomach of the whale. Even then, Yunus A.S didn’t play the blame game and recited,
“… he cried through the depths of darkness (saying): “There is no God but You, Glorified be You! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers.”(Surah Al Anbiya, Ayaah 87)
Sulemaan A.S, the most powerful of all the human beings ever existed on this earth. Given the powers to control Jinn, listen to all animals, had control over clouds and wind- this power became a mere test for him. Yet he was prepared to thank Allah SWT,
“…. he (Sulayman) cried out: “This is by the grace of my Lord so that He may test me whether I give thanks for (His Bounty) or act with ingratitude. Whoever is grateful is so to his own good; and whoever is ungrateful, let him know that my Lord is Immensely Resourceful, Most Bountiful.” (Surah an-Naml, Ayaah 40)
…and ofcourse, how may I not discuss my idol, the brave and the most tolerant Muhammad SAWW. Who was tortured 24/7 by the non-believers, stoned till his shoes filled with blood, harmed during Sajdah, threw upon a can of trash, stricken with immense hunger, mocked upon and taunted- yet, he stood in night hours to ask forgiveness from Allah SWT and praise Him and thank Him for all the blessings.
So now.. Pay attention. Is your trial more hard than Ayub (A.S)? More dark than Yunus A.S ? Are you more powerful human than Sulemaan A.S Are you being tortured 24/7?
Even to the reply of “Why Me?” Allah SWT replies,
“Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tried?. But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars”.
Surah Ankabut, Ayaah 2-3.
This is the second hard fact. Allah SWT tests us to separate good and bad between us. More the sacrifices you make, you are equally upgraded in Jannah, which is the true and eternal success. But ofcourse you have to pass through a military training to enter the “elite” members of Jannah. You have to be tested on what goes against your will.. While those who whine and self pity get much lesser rewards.
–> Another concept people have is that they inquire, “If Allah is merciful, then where is He right now?” The minute we get hurt by a calamity (major/minor) we tend to consider negative aspects of it. Here, the positive aspect is hidden. Allah SWT shows us His mercy by:
* Forgiving our sins. A gist of Hadeeth follows that Allah SWT removes the sins of a person afflicted with a disease/ worry such like the leaves that fall off a tree.
* You will get compensated thereafter for every single affliction, your tasks in life will become easier than before and you will realize this difference soon after.
* Allah SWT choses His servants and never afflict burden greater than what His servant could tolerate. You realize this when you are met with people around you in similar situations but with many other tests going on in their lives.
*As Allah SWT stated, with every difficulty there is ease, clearly mentioned and and it is always applied practically by Him.
–> Now come the essence of the lecture. The coping skills. What to do as soon as a trial begins.. Whether its a person who hurt you, whether you lost a job or lost a dear one , or maybe you got hurt by your children behavior or you are diagnosed with an illness..
- Believe: this is from Allah SWT, He wrote my fate and He is the best of Planners. Never curse your fate. Never say the word “IF”.
- Recite “Inna lillahe wa inna ilaihi raje’oon”: Yes! Its not just a dua to be recited in time of someone’s death. Its a declaration that you believe in returning back to your Lord.
- Pray: Always. Always. Always pray! The weapon of the believer!! Every dua will get compensated, either in this world or hereafter. Just ask Allah, for He loves when you ask even for little things.
- Recite Quran: DAILY. Like every product comes with a manual, for us our manual is the Quran. Read the Arabic+ translation. Double the reward! You will recieve solutions for your every day to day problems. It talks to you when you recite it. That’s why its called “An-Nuur” The Light.
- Never degrade the one in trials: Don’t whine on their faces, calling them “Poor Souls/ haaye bechari!” Instead, tell them the reward they will recieve by Allah’s will and ask them to pray for you as they are MORE closer at that time to Allah SWT than you are !!
- Learn from the spider: Its home get destroyed, yet it spindles a new much stronger and beautiful home again. Keep trying and failing then trying again.
- Your health, wealth and children are the greatest of trials you face. A believer is always in win-win situation.
- Never let the past pile up in your memories. This is Shaitaan who reminds you of your some 10 year old grudge against someone or the worst to create doubts between husband- wife. For this, do this exercise: Every night Forgive and Forget. Save yourself from mental and physical torture.
- Always look those under you. Learn from them. And do sabr and shukar for that’s what Allah loves for His slave.
- Accept your problems and believe that Allah SWT knows the best. Ask Him to steer you to what He considers is best for you.
Alhamdulilahe A’ala kulle haal!
(Praise be to Allah upon every condition!)