Category: Experiences of Life

The Three Letters of Downfall

What defines “the chaos of life”? You being so busy that you’re unable to take out time to sit with family? Your stubbornness when a junior asks you for a favour ? Your frustrations when little things you think you can manage gets so haphazard? Eventually, it leads all to an ultimate end of a good brought up or should I say the grooming of your parents when you start boasting your ego. The three letter word that leads us all to downfall, little do we understand don’t we?

Man, no doubt has to some extent a superiority over women. They earn and face the excruciating and disgusting world outside. Running for jobs, dealing with gruesome people and above all trying to save money in a world of today- where it seems the money gets down the drain so quickly no matter how you save. They are tough and brought up by the stereotype, ‘men don’t cry’.  That’s exactly where the EGO steps in. 

Women look after household and some even work and do chores too. And by chores I could go on in a list of never ending work. Make dinner of their husband’s choice, wash clothes, clean the house, do the dishes, solve inlaws issues,  then they have the cranky dependant babies to look after.. And still remain tip top for their husbands in the eve. Some are even working women who do double jobs of balancing the outside and inside world together. If she demands some time to rest is it necessary she gets taunted in a way she never want to do anything for her sake? 

Why does ego gets misunderstood as “confidence” “power to rule” and “intelligent dealings”. Is it important we crush the one beneath us so harshly, forget about hurting the other person won’t even want to talk to you. Ever realized why you were made an authority? Was it to rule over and gain power by insulting? Doesn’t it lead to more frustrations in a society- eventually a working space gets disintegrated and the blame games start. The vicious cycle begins where two personalities full of pride fail to understand their ruining the world in small or a larger scale on whole. 

I know frustrations are everywhere, there are little who know how to deal with them perfectly and wisely. I love such people and always try to learn from such kinds who put others first and not their wishes ahead of themselves. The teachings of our Prophet (S.A.W. W) show that he practised his life that revolves around the famous quote, ” forgive and let go” trust me, its so not easy in this world we live now. Now is the life with which even the wolf has asked forgiveness. People are after the happiness you share, the pride you show when your child achieves higher marks in class, the confidence you feel when you show you’re independent. They would never stop, why? Because you’re hurting them. Affecting their “look busy, do nothing” lives and teasing their ego. Trust me, you shouldn’t stop, its their sickening thoughts with which they’re brought up. Ego. They think its their win-win, but it’s actually yours if you ponder and let them go- remember karma? It lies there hiding and waiting for the right moment to come. And it will, inshaaAllah. 

The Motivation to Forgive..

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We often face people in our lives who have wronged us in some way and we feel its impossible for us to forgive them… there are a billion times when we have wronged someone, by words or action, and we feel the guilt and pressure on our souls so much that we are ashamed to ask forgiveness from Allah  (S.W.T) Regarding this, I came across something very exceptional to read, so sharing it here


We sin openly and secretly, inwardly and outwardly, major and minor, to the Creator and the creation.  And whilst it is unavoidable to do at least some sins, it is important that we seek forgiveness from Allah daily. In fact, there are at least 20 duas of forgiveness a Muslim can make every day. No one can seek forgiveness more than the blessed Messenger of Allah ﷺ despite all of his sins being forgiven, so how about us? We steal, lie, cheat, scorn and if we do not do this with others, we certainly do this with Allah.

Despite all of this, Allah is willing to forgive us. He loves to forgive and he would have replaced us if we were sinless with people who sin and then repent to him. 

If someone was to encroach upon our rights, how would we react? If we don’t forgive the person, we will at least seek ‘justice’. And the problem with seeking ‘justice’ is that it can be revenge in another name.

Justice is limited in how much we can attain and it is quantifiable. 

“And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, take revenge. The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof.” {Surah Ash-Shuraa 42: Verses 39-40}

And what we seek cannot be compensated except through forgiveness. It will remove the hurt and the scar will be lifted. 

And so we choose something which is temporary that results in regret, for something permanent that we will always be pleased with even though its initial stages may feel bitter. 

And whilst ‘justice’ is measurable, the reward is not. There is no mention of gardens or rivers, but the reward is with Allah. 

but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah.” {Surah Ash-Shuraa 42: Verse 40}

Forgiveness is not easy and that is why the reward is so high. Someone may say: ‘I will forgive everyone except for such and such a person because you don’t know what s/he’s done to me’.

Remember what we have done against Allah and yet He forgives us for nothing in return. Remember how Abu Bakr forgave a companion for spreading rumours of adultery about his daughter, the wife of the Prophet ﷺ and our mother, Aisha. 

Why? 

Because he understood that the reward of forgiving him is far greater than any justice he would be able to gain in this life or on the Day of Judgement. 

And this is a greater type of sabr when a calamity befalls someone because in the former you have a choice. The ones we get most angry with are those whom we are closest to and because we see them day in and day out, it is more difficult to forgive them. 

In fact, the test of good character is not to show it to people you like or don’t know, but people you don’t like. 

“Be in need of whoever you wish, and you will be his prisoner; be sufficient from whoever you wish, and you will be his adversary; be kind to whoever you wish, and you will be his authority”– Ibn Taymiyyah (ra)


We may feel we cannot trust anyone. It doesn’t matter how deep one’s love is for their spouse, parents, children, siblings and friends – there will always be some element of disappointment.  And although we should not think like this, in some situations, it cannot be helped. It is easier to please Allah than to please the people. 

Ibn Al Qayyim(ra) said: “The heart of who you are trying to earn acceptance, is in the hands of whom you disobey.” This is why we must always do things for Allah alone and everything else should be secondary. This way, if you are disappointed by the people, you didn’t do it for them anyway. And any harm they cause us will be worth it because the reward will be higher. 

From the 8 gates of Jannah is the gate called BAABUL KADHEMEAN AL- GAIDH – this gate is reserved for those who suppress their anger and pardon others.


Allah is Al-Ghafur, At-Tawwab, but mankind is plagued by pride and arrogance. So despite any sin we may do, Allah is willing to forgive us if we apply the conditions. As for man, our hearts are hard and not willing to forget let alone forgive.  We are reminded constantly of past transgressions in a heated argument even when we were ‘forgiven’ and we curtail our kindness because of that hurt that we once felt.

And yet when Allah forgives, it is almost as though we had not done that sin and He bestows more mercy upon us so that we are not embarrassed to return to him. 

As one Mufassir (explainer of the Quran) wrote: Allah knows things about you that if your parents would know, they would disown you. That if your wife would know, she would divorce you. If your slave were to know, he would run away from you. If your neighbor would know, they would move away from you. But despite all of this, Allah is Merciful.

Let us facilitate jannah for each other, not jahanam. Paradise is very vast and it has room for us all. And it doesn’t matter how much we may despise one another, kafir or Muslim, we should never wish jahanam for anyone if we truly know its reality. 

So a word said to our brother or sister even though it takes a few seconds, the consequences are years in the hellfire or eternity in Paradise. Is it not enough for us to worry about our good deeds being accepted, than for us to increase in sin and worry about others holding grudges?

“Verily, I constantly renew my Islam until this very day, as up to now, I do not consider myself to have ever been a good Muslim.”- Ibn Taymiyyah(ra)

A Walk to Remember..

It is said that when you stand in front of the ocean, the first person that comes to your mind is your true love, but what if I tell you that its vicinity may become secretly inspiring for different people. Beaches are adventurous for those who wish to look beyond the water merely colliding with the shores, passions for the shells, sun bathing and animal riding.

 

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The water that voluntarily thrashes itself on the rocks may be a teacher for the poetic beginners .. waking up to its beautiful sound may become anti-depressants for the lonely souls.. even the way water meets the shore may motivate some that for every hurdle ahead take back a step then leap forward, outraged, till you achieve your destination.

The sands may be a place for building castles, “digging in” people for fun or writing one’s name .. but different sands have different meanings to life. To face a stronger opponent, life gradually teaches us to become hard-core yet humble for every situation. If you observe, standing just near the shore, the grains of the sand harden yet remain wet as they face the vast force of the sea. It hardly allows anyone to penetrate deep into it, yet it permits long, beautiful walks to remember. Here is where the Castle’s are built and here is where the childhood memories are made. The faraway sand is rather fine and endures the tough sun beams. It may be some enjoyment for the love of people, but eventually it wears off.
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Horizons may become hope for lost souls. Endlessly expanding beneath, yet touching the skies in its limits. The bewildered colors and the beautiful birds echoing a lesson-“don’t give up here, life is awesome ahead- there is hope!” For some, the horizon has even heard the deepest secrets- shared or unshared stories. Some remember, some forgotten.

Did you ever experience the underwater ? A world of stingrays, groupers, sea-turtles, sharks, clown-fishes and much more. A hiding place for beautiful pearls. A scenary of Divine artwork. A treasure of cities beneath it, many still undiscovered. Another lesson for us- apparently, someone may be a villain person yet the heart and soul they possess could be beautiful. We judge people easily by appearance, but what lies within them might astonish us and inspire us.

That being said, its always a pleasure visiting sea side. The next time you go to create memories, look for astounding lessons as it might teach for a lifetime to remember and share with your kids and grandkids.

As for me, I always leave making sure that I leave my mark and depart, with sticky sand still between my toes and an ice cream in one hand. 🙂

The ‘Diapaused’ Human

Just a mere stage of dormancy. A phase in every insect’s life and some mammals where they have to survive in unfavourable conditions- clinging onto their dear life- and then develop to a mature adult form. This is the diapause. Like a Caterpillar goes dormant and for some time this gloomy little one doesn’t know what would happen next.. until it turns to a beautiful butterfly- blessed with a superpower.. Wings! Likewise, us humans also go through a stage of diapause- ironically it occurs many times till we mature and realize it later that we changed.
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We humans endure pain, tolerate criticism, get bad at relations and often feel so much that we get paralyzed for our next move. These thoughts or events that make us so numb are just temporary tests in our life that if we ponder are actually shaping us into an ‘adult’ form. This is the diapause in every human life. These tests may be a career option, a problematic subject, a mere opinion from a passerby or friend or even another human. It maybe a long dormant period in the life of someone who faces demise of a loved one. It may be a deadly disease. It may even be a villian in a family. Its altogether just a pause where us humans tend to really think about life- the purpose, what and how will it further take us and how shall we deal with it. We humans err and realize mistakes, but err again.

Cheeers! There are always two choices. Either to take  U-turn and respond back at life as crudely as it made us fall, or succumb to your problems and get all gloomy about the life again. I have seen people at tender age of 10 talking wisely like a 25 year old ambitious person, and I have also witnessed 50 year olds pretending going back on 16 years of age. To your surprise, there are people who often think too seriously positive about this diapaise that they often get so matured the opinions of someone else always negates them, eventually they feel all alone and  the diapause stage comes back. This is a vicious cycle we should refrain from. Maturity sure doesn’t define age, yet it takes years or a mere event in a life of an individual to outgrow thoughts and opinions. To reason differently yet act naturally.

When I say we got two choices, I also say we got a positive expectation and a negative one. But this is not entirely from oneself, its actually from Allah SWT. When we accept the fact the diapause is a checkpoint created by Allah SWT to make us reckon life, we know if He made us reach to it He would also make us go through it. This is our superpower I mentioned above, a power to trust Him in every decision He makes.

So, the next time you face a diapause, repeat the ayaah from Quran,

“With every hardship is an ease, Verily, with every hardship is an ease”

Then ask yourself and ponder where  is the ease and you shall smile back again. 🙂

The longest block- EVER!

Well yes, that’s true. The past few months had been a roller coaster ride for me. The worse part being in a writer’s block for approx 7 months! Never had it this long! Glad to be back, eventually.

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So you see being a final year med-student isnt that easy.. you have to give bundles of presentations, attend a billion lazy early morning lectures, present assignments, fill out histories and ofcourse, create “final year” memories! This was one of the best year of my entire medical studies. It started off with its fast pace and ended with an amazing time… the fact being the presence of presentations which I enjoyed, my hangouts with a classy group of friends and ofcourse the batch spent last few weeks in observing fun days in College. Crazy day..color day.. scrub day.. and on the very last day the batch altogether went to eat Parathaas and drink some Chaai !   the teachers were equally co operative and granted us often early leave. The last few official weeks of final year were just so amazing I wish we could stop the time here… on the other hand, I barely studied seriously during the year- but when Pre-Graduation dinner of 2016 came around the corner I realised what seriousness this year had in itself. We were nearing our mock (preproffs) exams by end of April and eventually followed an exhausting May-July that flew away in our Proff (final) exams.. inbetween we observed Ramadan and I often sat down to write but hardly gained enough material to write upon. I often prayed to be productive enough in Ramadan- maybe some dawah through wordpress? Some links to inspiring lectures of renowed scholars?… but there was some barrier that often came infront. Something that blocked me from this passion, something so lazy I hardly believe I could endure. Just my procrastinations.

The moment after my last viva, I prayed I could resume this world of writing and enjoy its fruits. For the best reward for an author is the satisfaction and peace after pouring down the inspirations he carries.

Here’s to coming back! cheeers! alhamdulilah B-)